And Oskar goes to Lausanne

Main picture: Isabelle von Burg, General Manager of the Lausanne Palace, with Oskar in front of the main entrance.

Freestyle swimming: Oskar practises his front crawl in the crystal-clear waters of Lake Geneva.

On your marks, get set, go! On command, Oskar sprints along the athletics track as if he were Usain Bolt with four very hairy legs. Some visitors to the Parc Olympique, a beautiful 8,000 square metre park on the shores of Lake Geneva with sculptures on the theme of sport, watch the dog’s explosive start as he races towards his master like a black lightning bolt. Oskar doesn’t set a world record. Instead of a gold medal, he only gets a tiny treat as a reward.

From a Labrador Retriever’s point of view, however, the short sprint in the Olympic park is still a great sporting event. The athletic dog also passes the other disciplines – such as posing on the podium with the Olympic motto citius, altius, fortius (higher, faster, further), high-jumping onto a bench, balancing on the edge of a fountain, peeing on an Olympic bush and  retrieving a stick on the Olympic lawn – with flying colours.

Then comes his favourite discipline: front crawl in open water. Oskar races towards the shore of Lake Geneva at full speed, jumps into the waves – and has an enjoyable swim between ducks and buoys, grunting with pleasure.

After this special heptathlon, Oskar is soaking wet, tired and hungry. Actually, Labradors are always hungry. This is allegedly due to a genetic mutation, scientists have discovered.

Possibly, but with Oskar it’s mainly because he’s a very active, sporty guy. People who impertinently describe the 33-kilo dog as slightly overweight or even as flabby are met with the following retort from his master: No, we are not fat! At most, powerfully built. Muscular! Strong! But definitely not fat.

Sport, games and fun: Oskar on the running track in the Olympic park (top left), with a food bowl that looks suspiciously like Oskar’s (centre), in the ballroom of the Lausanne Palace (bottom) – and enjoying the evening views of the city and lake from the hotel.

All Oskar needs is a cosy dog bed. He can do without a dressing room because he naturally wears his own little black number day and night. If he could speak French, he would immediately call room service and order something from the dog menu, sillwoofplais! But he’s also happy with dry food and perhaps a banana or an apple from the sumptuous fruit platter that is temptingly placed at snout height on the coffee table. Vitamins are important, especially for competitive sports-Labradors. And also for people who want to tone up in the hotel’s gym, which bears the beautiful French title Musculation.

While the dog chills in the room, his master goes for lunch in the hotel’s own restaurant, Matcha Picchu. This modern city restaurant offers Japanese-Peruvian fusion cuisine: Bento boxes with sushi, ceviche and grilled food. The restaurant is a popular meeting place, just like the hotel lobby, where businessmen negotiate, girlfriends gossip and older couples enjoy coffee and cake. ‘Our culture at the hotel is very inclusive,’ says General Manager Isabelle von Burg. ‘Our clientele is mixed: over 60 percent are private guests from the medical tourism and leisure sectors. The rest are business people.’ And dogs are also welcome at any time – even in the Grand Chene, the fine brasserie on the ground floor.

Oskar’s mouth waters as the waiter brings a platter of iced oysters to the table. Tartar, steaks and pasta are served at the neighbouring table. The dog peers curiously from the upper floor of the restaurant through the banister to a table downstairs where a group of women are happily chatting away as they tuck into Wiener schnitzel with match-thin French fries. Amused by the dog’s yearning look, the ladies are on the verge of feeding him some fries. Oskar, for his part, is on the verge of performing an Olympic-sized dive towards the schnitzel table.

After dinner, dog and master sit contentedly on the balcony of the hotel room and look out over the mountains. There is hardly anything left to be desired. Except perhaps one thing: dog sports must become an Olympic discipline again! Perhaps this should be put on the agenda at the next IOC meeting. Actually, the idea isn’t as absurd as it sounds. A demonstration competition in sled dog sports was held at the 1932 Winter Olympics in Lake Placid. The teams of seven dogs had to cover a course of 40.5 kilometres. Hmm… sounds rather exhausting, perhaps a sausage-eating competition would be more attractive from Oskar’s point of view. Anyway, that’s enough Olympic sports for one day. Heads down, lights off and good night!