Entering my whisper era

All I know is that any reference to toning it down, I would automatically equate with ‘take up less space, Steffi’. And boy, did I spend decades of my life – both as a child and as an adult – making sure I couldn’t be overlooked! Which may be why I find myself equally fascinated and annoyed by the term ‘quiet luxury’.

Whether it’s Kylie Jenner smiling ­demurely in a simple pair of jeans and a white shirt while trying not to let the glint off her diamond rings blind her, or the sigh of the preternaturally, world-weary traveller in the security check line, while opening up his properly banged-up aluminium Rimowa suitcase, I can see it everywhere: understatement is the new audacity. And it seems a new generation of luxury-loving professionals are now taking cues from the 70-year-olds they see, quietly enjoying a meal in your favourite city’s most ­exclusive restaurant and not posting a single thing about it on social media: if you truly have it, you don’t flaunt it.

The quiet luxury rules are pretty easy to follow: large designer labels are considered crass. Bragging about one’s properties, cars or jewellery, ditto. And designer bags are only bearable if they’re vintage and slightly fraying at the edges. When in doubt, tone it down. And style aficionados everywhere – including my recently deceased and much-missed friend Clifford Lilley – bemoan the lack of style and panache in today’s fashion. Of course, there are still plenty of movers and shakers that love to deck themselves out in high-visibility designer gear, but in all honesty, the hotel lobby guessing game has become one of my favourite pastimes (and you’re welcome to join the fun!).

Whenever my job leads my (working-class, Zara-loving) self to a five-star hotel, I love checking out the other guests in the lobby or during breakfast. Is the elderly man in tracksuit trousers and pool sandals a retired millionaire, an eccentric artist-in-residence… or simply someone’s depressed uncle who got lucky in a raffle? And is the blonde woman wearing Chanel sneakers with the beautifully crafted nose a nanny or an entrepreneur? Judging on style, we’ll never know.

It seems there’s no middle ground left between showing off and slumming it. And as frowned-upon as ostentatiously flaunting one’s wealth has become, I also find this shift to extremes incredibly boring, and secretly long for more daytime sequins and champagne and hilarity at noon, just because. Ten years ago, the brash Versace-drenched couple would have annoyed me. And now I find myself admiring their chutzpah. Go ahead and study fashion tips on ‘old money style’: you’re almost certain to do no wrong by toning it down. After all, understatement is politically correct. Understatement is certainly provident. And understatement is also incredibly, heartbreakingly, scream-inducingly boring. So I’ll keep planning to make a poncho out of brightly coloured vintage Hermès scarves, I’ll keep taking up space and I’ll probably be the lady at the bar telling the off-colour joke. At least you’ll remember me, and you’re welcome to join in the laughter, if you dare. 

Words Steffi Hidber